Credentials

As a Licensed and Certified Speech Language Pathologist (MS CCC-SLP), I am a professional specializing rehabilitation for individuals with communication disorders resulting from brain injury and other neurologic diseases. I also worked over 20 years in the graduate university setting, teaching and mentoring professionals in Career Development, Ethics, Counseling and Communicating in crisis and high conflict. In my current rehabilitation practice as a speech pathologist, I utilize a wholistic mind-body approach for communication.

 

I’ve been affectionately known throughout my life by friends, family, colleagues, and clients as "Dede", though my given name is Danielle. I married my high school sweetheart after seven years of dating, studying, and growing up together. We raised two beautiful and accomplished daughters, lived in the home of our dreams surrounded by friends and close to family. We celebrated, vacationed, worked, and played, experiencing the normal ups and downs of a relationship spanning over three decades. We cared for and supported one another through major illness, big financial decisions, job transitions, and times of unexpected crisis and loss. I had always known my husband to be an honorable person and dedicated family man, a sensitive soul always ready to help others.

​

Following a mild traumatic brain injury (TBI) he suffered during a bike accident when our daughters were in elementary school, I had my first lesson in having a spouse not in his right mind. At that time, I had worked for a decade in rehabilitation as a speech-language pathologist, specializing with adults impaired after stroke, TBI and other neurological injury and disease. Professionally, I was well-versed in the diagnosis and treatment for brain injury recovery. However, as a wife, I received a new education on what it felt like to be a caregiver dealing with a spouse who could not understand what had happened to his own brain. He would write texts filled with gibberish, forget talking to his mother just an hour before, and try to leave the hospital without any pants. He was convinced he could still travel to compete in the Escape from Alcatraz to triathlon he’d been training for, when he couldn't even walk a straight line. He had emotional outbursts in front of the kids and blamed me for everything, especially not letting him drive. I knew this was temporary, that his brain would heal and I needed patience, understanding and outside support to weather the storm. Thankfully, he recovered, became himself again and life returned to normal. I thought the worst in our lives was behind us, but could have never imagined the utter devastation that could be caused by a Midlife Crisis (MLC). 

 

Approaching our 25th wedding anniversary and my husband's 49th birthday, I first realized he was in a depression after a series of losses, including the death of his father and a friend, my health issues, and our oldest daughter leaving for college. He was anxious and frustrated with me for not being available as my work stress increased, and he coped by obsessively running with a female friend, losing 30 lbs in three months. When he stated in a moment of vulnerability "I've never had to face my mortality before," it suddenly struck me that Midlife Crisis is not just something from the movies. It is real and my husband is in it. I researched desperately to learn how to cope, focused on my self-development and saw the results pay off in how much calmer and happier we both appeared to be. So, I was in utter shock nine months later on the day of our youngest daughter's graduation when he told me that he was done with family responsibility, wasn't "in love" with me, and had already rented an apartment to live out his “super-triathlete-bachelor fantasy”.

​

It was soul crushing to be so blindsided and rejected without any clear reason by the person you most trusted in the world. I was in disbelief but thought I understood what I was dealing with and determined to find answers. I exhausted countless hours in research, counseling, and conversing with hundreds of other betrayed spouses who had also experienced the "MLC script". Dealing with a spouse in a Midlife Crisis is NOT a normal process, and the behavior they exhibit is erratic, abusive, and nothing we could have predicted from the person we loved and lived with for so long. Yet the pattern for how they behave and progress over a 3-7+ year crisis period is quite predictable. Over my five-year journey, moving from one shock to another and spinning in a pain cycle between hope, fear, anxiety, anger and depression, I spent endless time and tens of thousands of dollars in research, online learning, counseling, coaching programs, training courses and practicing skills that finally led me to finding the best steps to successful healing. I discovered there is a clear path to finding peace and fulfillment.

 

With the right tools and support, I finally found my way out of the anxiety, anger, depression, and exhaustion dealing with my MLC spouse. No longer in dread of what my spouse would do to me next or fearing an uncertain future, I discovered renewed confidence in myself and excitement for my life. I’ve strengthened relationships with my children, family, and friends and found new love and friendships along the way. 

​